Well, I've returned from my honeymoon high and now that I've gone and started the eight to seven grind all I can think is "Shit, what have I done?" My first week at work was rather disastrous -- I've been put in a cubicle and given the vaguest of directions to learn as much as I can about financing. For the past five days, I have been reading about options pricing and share premiums, scrutinizing balance sheets and income statements and reading about debentures, treasuries, revolving credit and the like but all I've gained from that is this huge anxiety that I know so little in an industry that prizes encyclopedic knowledge and razor sharp analysis.
I'm trying me best to impress but I do think (perhaps legitimately) that everyone is wondering how I got the job and if I suddenly woke up one day and decided to become an investment banker, an Elle Woods in KL. It seems like everyone at the office tries to dumb things down for me and I fumble at every situation I get to prove myself which is really frustrating. I hope conditions improve next week.
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8 comments:
Aww hang in there. The first year on any job is a humbling experience. Soon you'll be a titan of Malaysian investment banking -- just don't forget about all us little people across the world (i.e. let us ride your personal jet).
hey chill man. you are probably in a better shape than you think you are. it's just that you're new and it does take time for things to make sense. trust me on that. 4 years in pharmacy school and i still feel inadequate and dumb.
wind
I agree with everyone else--the beginning is always tough. You'll be fine--you are smart and capable. And just remember that many of the people there are faking their confidence and are feeling nervous that someone will figure out that they aren't as smart as they lead on. You'll be fine. And, like Jeremy said, don't forget to let me ride in the corporate "WeeLeeAir" jet! :)
Hey Wee Lee, the first few weeks at a new job are usually the toughest.
You will feel that you've accomplished something significant and proven yourself after you work on some specific project. Good luck! --Ninad
Hopefully you're not still feeling like Elle Woods, but just in case you do, remember: she's brilliant. It just took her a little bit of time to set sail.
Everyone is right in what they say...you'll be feeling fine soon enough. And shortly after, you'll be rich and fabulous and golfing with Patrick Herrington.
Thank you darlings, your encouragements mean so much to me and make me miss all of you even more. This week was much better -- I got to do more substantial work and feel better about my abilities. I hope you're all doing well too.
Love,
Wee Lee
We love you mah Wee LEE!! ~~ Rah rah.
wind
Weelee, I think you'd look hott in pink ;-) Well stay strong.
Mattie
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